I’ve been feeling in-between for some time now. I mean in-between in the sense that I’ve not been myself. You know that moment you just don’t know exactly what’s wrong ? You want to be left alone but not exactly. You’re just not in the mood for anything.
This “mood” comes and goes but I’ve never exactly found out the root of the whole thing. I’m not exactly sad but I’m not happy as well. I’m literally just there. I’ve been trying to mask it with smiles and going about my daily activities like there nothing wrong. But as soon as I’m left alone with my thoughts the mask is off and I can feel the mood slowly creeping back in.
Most times I think it’s cause of the current situation I’m in. Like the fact that school is so stressful, exams starts in a week and my project is just not going anywhere. Or the fact that graduation is so close and yet so far away.
Come to think of it, it could be how homogeneous my life is right now. Wake up.. Class.. Sleep.. Over and over again.
I was in bed some days ago and It just crossed my mind that this could be one of the early stages of depression. Depression ? Lol.
I can already imagine my mums reply if I tell her I’m feeling depressed. We would probably have night vigil over the phone.
But No. I don’t agree I’m not depressed.
I might have been on the verge or close but nah it can’t be depression. I mean people are out there losing family members and body parts to terrorist attacks. So who am I to be depressed ? It’s just a phase. I’d like to think everyone has one of this moments where they just feel “off” from this world. It will pass…